Skyscrapers, earth movers, ground breakers.

I just had a great weekend. I want to blog about it.

Wednesday I left school early and went back to my parent's for some much needed TLC. My wisdom teeth finally need to come out and they're pressing against my other teeth, causing some of the worst pain I've felt. And it's constant. My liver's gonna hate me for the 5 ibuprofen I need to take to get the pain to stop; anything less doesn't work.
It's alright though, because they are coming out sometime this month, and I had a really nice break at my parents'.
School is extremely stressful and disheartening. I hate to use this phrase because its immature, but they're FUN SUCKERS. Honest to goodness. We're adults, goddammit. We shouldn't have to ask to go to the bathroom!

I'm excited as hell for this upcoming couple of months. I go to Orlando for the Premier Hair Show in just a week and 5 days. The Friday before is the Cold War Kids concert in Forsyth; just a block from my house! Warped Tour is in August (I keep forgetting the date :/) but I'm excited for that too.

While we're on the subject of music, listen to August Burns Red's new song. Its AMAZING.

I am not where I belong, so shine a light and guide me home.

Wow, blogging is seriously low on my to-do list. WHICH has recently grown to unbelievable lengths, even for me. Most of the things I used to do have taken the backseat to the activities I do now. I rarely have time for myself anymore, except for my ability to spend copious amounts of money on clothes I don't need OR have the space for. I'm flat broke, going to school full time, and living all by myself in the city. My dog, my bank account, and the cleanliness of my apartment are suffering because of this and part of me wants my fairy godmother to come and make it all better. The other part of me is ecstatic and (possibly) the happiest I've ever been.
School sucks up my time more than anything else right now. So much that there ISN'T really anything else. It's stressful, expensive, and a little bit tragic but I'm sticking with it for the first time in my life. Yes, till the very end (Feburary 2012). I can't very well get a job, except for the evenings and weekends. But my dog would then be alone even more than she already is. I spend about 25% of my week at school, and taking into account that I spend about 33% of the week sleeping, I only have 42% left to do what I want. I usually spend that time cutting my "friends'" hair (for free, ugh), sleeping, or spending as much time as I can with my family and friends.
My family's in the process of moving 3 hours away to Augusta, GA. 3 hours away from me. I've recently discovered that I do, in fact, love my family. A lot! And I really don't want them to move. They're my rocks. I've had an incredibly stressful 3+ months and I can't imagine going through the next 10 without them 45 minutes away. It sucks.
But part of me is thinking about making the move too. I love Savannah but I really want a change. And I can always come back. I don't know. I want to ask my aunt in Woodstock, NY if I can rent her above-the-garage apartment after I graduate, and work up there. (Auntie Lys, if you're reading this- we'll be in touch!) Or maybe I'll start fresh in Charleston or hell, maybe even Augusta's nice. I dont know. I've just got dreams right now.
I'm just worried that I'll never be satisfied where I am. I hate to think that wherever I go, I'll just be itching to get out. Maybe that's the good thing about being young; I'll just go wherever the hell I want.

The last few days have felt like a dream to me, and I'm hoping they'll stay that way until Kara moves out at the end of the month.
We broke up on Saturday, just a week shy of our 3 year anniversary. I'm devastated really; its the end of something that's been apart of my every day routine for 3 years. I won't have anyone to wake up to, anyone to make me breakfast, anyone for me to lay on when I'm sleepy and watching TV, or anyone to take the dog out at night when I'm too scared to. I know this won't be true forever but I can't get past the feeling that the whole world is crashing down. In a strange way though, I'm okay. I'm okay with the fact that it ended the way that it did. I'm okay that Kara just came out and said "I don't love you anymore" because I'd rather her be honest.

Now, just so we're clear, I'm not hurt. No one should feel bad because I was hurt. I'm not. I'm disappointed that we've only lived in this apartment for 3 months and I've got to start looking for a new one. I'm sad that its all over. I'm frustrated that I'm stuck in this city without anyone anymore. But I'm not hurt. I'm looking at this opportunity as something I could benefit from. I'm excited to be Catie instead of Kara and Catie.

Maybe I'll move somewhere out of state.
I don't know yet for sure, but all I know is that I'm excited for the future.
This more than anything has made me realize that.

I have the world at my fingertips.

Its strange to think that a week ago today, right about now, I was landing in the Corning, New York airport to visit my family. Christmas was just two days away and we were all very excited. The day before, I had said goodbye to my apartment and my dog as we brought her to the kennel. I was thrilled nonetheless, and anticipating finally having a white Christmas.
Well, that all came and went and I'm back home again. My dad dropped me off about an hour ago after going out to dinner with me and unpacking my things. The apartments still a mess, but I'll deal with that tomorrow. I need to get a job, but I'll deal with that tomorrow too. My dog ate one of my small Dove chocolate candies I left out, so I'm watching her like a hawk. I couldn't be mad at her. I missed her more than anything really. She's truly (wo)man's best friend for me.
I think she's the reason I was so excited to get back to this mess of a home. I'm alone, I have so much cleaning to do...I don't have a job and I think I missed the deadline for the final application for the college I'm starting at. I'm not resentful, angry, or sinking into this deep, dark depression or anything, but I am lonely here. I guess sitting here now, I've realized that as much as I wanted to get to my apartment and be on my own and get away from my loud crazy family, I didn't think about how fucking quiet it is here at night. Even with my little buddy Hopie, I hate it and it drives me crazy. I wish I was still with my family, in their warm house with cable and anything I could want. The two times I turned down Emily when she asked if I wanted to play Super Mario Brothers, I wish I could go over now and play. Even if it was just Claire, lounging around eating honey mustard flavored pretzels and using up my Netflix subscription, it would still be better than this emptiness I've got here.
I just want tonight to be over. Everything's better when its daytime, I guess.

All and all though, I had a very good Christmas. New York was great. It was snowing and you could hardly be outside for more than an hour, but I liked seeing my family. Even my immediate one; I can't remember the last time I had so much fun with them. Hahaha, I wish I had a video of my dad sledding down the hill at Carter's School. It was hilarious.
I always comment every year on how unexcited I get for Christmas nowadays. It gets less and less every year, but lo and behold, every Christmas morning still feels like it was better than year prior. A complete 360, I know, but there's something about waking up early and opening all the crap your parents got you, then eagerly waiting for them to open what you got them. Then eating the candy you got in your stocking all day until dinner, and fiddling with your new gifts. I'll always love Christmas. I'm excited to share it with my kids too.

This year I got a laptop (which I am currently typing on), a Keureg coffee maker, lots of board games, some clothes at Marshals, a new hallway rug and living room lamp for the apartment (which got me more excited than you'd think), Vera Wang's Princess Perfume, the book Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro, beautiful earrings and a watch from my grandma, rain boots from Claire, and this awesome ring-earring set from Emily. Oh, and some great smelling soap from my mom's store. If I forgot anything, I'll let you know.

New years is tomorrow. So far I'm planning to be alone.
I wish someone would change that.

I'm gonna go take out the fart-machine.
Till next time :)

I haven't blogged in a very long time. I've become pretty involved with Tumblr, I'm ashamed to admit. I've also been working a lot and just generally living life. I'm loving it.
I lost my job well...tomorrow technically. They told me on the 2nd though. I'm going job hunting again tomorrow, probably at a Parkers or something. I can only work until the 21st because I'm going to NY for a week :) I'm really super excited. I haven't been on a vacation in 2 years.
Since I last wrote, a lot has happened. The most dear to my heart is my dog Hope I've adopted. She's the cutest thing. This is a picture of Kara and her this morning:
I am so happy and...blessed (as cheesy as that sounds) to wake up to those two cuties in the morning. It makes me really happy with myself. Sometimes I feel really useless and lazy; I'm not in college and now I don't have a job, but when I really think about it, I'm proud of myself too.
Its a weird feeling to explain and I'm not going to try to.

I'm going to make some Ramen.
peeeeace.

Savannah has bewildered me since living here. Quite possibly the most eye-opening, is the way I’ve realized that lots of people are copies of someone else. For example, I work with like 3 Davis Ruplingers. Maybe it’s the state of mind I’ve developed over my 18 years living on Hilton Head but certain people who were to unique and fascinating, are suddenly…not. The tattoo I wanted a year ago isn’t so cool anymore after seeing it on like, 2 hipster chicks a day. I know none of this really matters in the long run, but I think about it on a deeper level; it makes me want to stand out.
At work today, I didn’t have tattoos, I wasn’t as skinny, and my sunglasses weren’t as big as some of the bitches walking in, but at least I dressed myself this morning. Karen O or some editor in Nylon didn’t tell me what to wear. And it’s so ironic too, because this place where everyone’s artistic and everyone’s “different,” it’s almost like they looked at someone and said “I want to be that”. Like when “emo” happened. Their whole scene was based on being an individual, but they really just looked like the person standing next to them. You could make action figures out of them.
I guess where I’m going with all this is, I’d rather not fit into the buttoned, high-waisted skirt from Civvies that is sooo cute if it means that no one even looks at me on the way to work.

Maybe tomorrow, the good lord will take you awayy.

I hate who you are now. You're stupid and full to the BRIM of shit. I dont like you and I hope we never have the displeasure of talking ever again.

Phew. Now that thats over with; I had a great night. I got to hang out with 2 very fun chicks and got to see some peeps I haven't in a while. My dad and I got to talk too, which was pretty depressing. He works at with a taxi service now midnight-6 and the job totally sucks. He doesnt even work half the time. Part of me wants to send his resume into companies and get him a job again. The other part of me want to slap him in the face and tell him to stop being so poor and pitiful. He's blaming it all on Obama. Go figure.

I just now realized, sitting here, that my ears are STILL ringing from Wednesday night at the House of Tunes. Idk if thats normal or not, but I'm sick of it. I want it to stop.

Two weeks and one day until Savannah move-in :) yesssssssss.
one week and one day until Warped and Six Flags. SO excited.