If you're such a poet, use your tongue and show it.

I kinda wish I could plunge myself into this lifestyle you've made for yourself. But without everyone laughing at me behind my back. Always forgetting what I did the day before and never really having a plan or a promising future, and that's not a stab at you. Just go crazy, have a night where my thoughts dont control what I do. Make new friends.

I got back from Charleston a day ago. I want to go back, more than anything. I think I was made for a city, where you walk around everywhere. Its in my stride; I was walking just as fast as all the business people on their cellphones, and darting across the street with no problem at all. The new coat I got will never get worn here, it's too fashionable and expensive. It's disappointing. I want out of this shit-hole.
I mean, this trip seriously changed me. I cleaned my room and hung up all my clothes for the first time in...years. I've rearranged my room to look completely different. This fantasy world that I can live in; this little bubble in the middle of my real life. I want to live by myself in Charleston or New York. And study and cook and socialize and shop. I feel like no one really gets that.
Ah, my plans for the 28th. They've all hopelessly fallen through, which makes me so upset. I want to 1) to have a little bit more of Charleston time and 2) to see that show. All of my concert experiences have been let-downs. Warped, Siversun Pickups...Just saying. But Band of Horses is amazing. I'd love to see them live. I hope something works out.

I don't like the way this is going already. Maybe its too soon to tell. Or maybe it's in too deep. I'm terrified.



Goodnight, all.