I hate myself. I'm a stupid, bad friend. I can't believe I did that. It's not your fault by any means. I'm an adult, I can make my own decisions. And boy, did I. I made one that fucked it up for everyone. For Cody, for your mom, and you. As much as you say it didn't, it did. So much money was wasted. Fucking $2249 was spent on me in one day, and that's not counting all the useless stuff we bought at the show. I don't even want to be reminded of it. I lied when I said I really wanted to have a tee-shirt. I was just hoping you'd stay and salvage what's left of the day; of the summer. I'm so fucking stupid. I've never, ever felt this low in my life. I will never forgive myself and I'll never live this down. I really hate myself right now. It's scary.
I'm leaving in 5 days for a two week vacation with my family, and I thought that maybe things would be okay if I had Warped to think of. To be like "Well, it's okay that I'm here because Warped was so fun, and my best friends had a good time". God, I'm so stupid. And no one even cared to check up on me. Stupid Melanie couldn't even pick up her phone when I was in the medical tent. All I wanted was for her to come and say "hi" before I left. I was excited for her to be there. But no.
Now it's 5 days of hanging around before I'm gone for 2 weeks. 2 weeks of having to expain to my relatives how it happened, and my mom cackling over me. This was supposed to be the best summer ever. My last real summer of high school.
I had been looking forward to that the whole time. ALL FUCKING SUMMER. That was our thing. We didn't go on any trips. We barely broke into the list of things we wanted to this year. Warped was one of the things. I don't even think it's worth it to cross it off the list. We waited in line longer then we were there. I hate this.
I need to get out of here.
I don't think this is a funny story I can tell people when I grow up. This isn't something we'll laugh about later. This isn't something that I've learned a lesson from. Yeah, I've learned that I'm a stupid, selfish, compulsive, awful friend.
$2249, a hospital trip, 5 hours there, 5 hours back, Warped tour tickets, 2 1/2 hours standing in line, not to mention all the worrying and effort...all wasted on me. fuck.

I wish you would call me.
Maybe I'll just call you. No. It's early.

I won't.
I've ruined enough things already.
I don't want to make you stop dreaming just to listen to me.