Some people are so fucking stupid and it's very aggravating. I'm probably one of those stupid, stupid people, but I don't really care because at least I know it.
I want to pack up and leave and take my girlfriend with me. She's the only thing I couldn't stand to lose. I don't care about my family; I know I could meet up with my sisters later. I don't care about my "friends" because I know they don't care about me. Wednesday proved it in more ways than one. We went to Savannah last Saturday, and it was so refreshing to walk around like we were alone and...free. That sounds really gay but that's how it felt. I'm sick of school and my parents and my old friends. I just want to get the fuck out of here already, because they're the only things keeping me from being HAPPY. I'm not ever HAPPY anymore.
My mom and I got into a kinda-huge fight today. It wasn't huge as in it was epic, but it was big and meaningful. She was just hissing "WHY DO YOU NEED TO SEE HER TODAY, THIS IS WHY YOU DIDN'T WANT TO PLAY SOCCER AND WHY YOU QUIT THE PLAY. IT'S HER. YOU'RE OBSESSED". Over and over again. But seriously, maybe I am. And who fucking cares? Maybe what my mom says is right. It might seem like I don't care about anything anymore except for a few things and one person, but that's only because I've grasped on to them so tight because nothing makes me happy anymore. I find problems with everything in my life but once I'm here and left with nothing, I wish I didn't. I wish things were the way they used to be, with all my old friends and things to do.
I don't think anyone can stand each other anymore, including me.
I just want everything to change. I want everything to go back to good, or move forward to good. I don't care.
Wow, I'm really lame.
4 comments:
I hope you don't mean me as one of those 'friends' on Wednesday.
I called you to explain why we couldn't hang out.
You know I wanted to though.
Things have been really crazy.
I miss you a lot though, & when I do want to hang out you usually can't cause of your parents :T
But when I get back I hope we can hang out more again, because all that Bluffton shit is cleared up now.
I love you, you can call me if you want
girl...i know i cant be around to listen but i do care....about you and kara...i want you to be happy...
parents are pretty gay...im sorry that yours seem to be jsut as bad as mine...
High School Sucks, the only true solution is learning to deal...
Sorry I haven't seen you much lately... But it's not like we drive, so what are you gonna do. Ah well, I'm around if you need somebody.
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