I never felt so alive without you by my side. I'm so glad I left you behind.

All the internet does is upset me. I don't think I'll be getting on very often anymore.
I don't like the people or all the time I waste on it.
All the people I want to talk to can talk to me in real life.

Until next time,
Bye! :)

ALEZ.

A RAT JUST POOPED ON KARA AND IT WAS THE BIGGEST POOP I'VE EVER SEEN COME OUT OF A RAT.

I LOVE KARA THOUGH, EVEN THOUGH ANIMALS LIKE TO DUMP ON HER :)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEX!

;

I know I'm not a part of your life anymore, but that's okay. There's so many things I want to say to you but I'm afraid of losing you, but I know it won't be my fault if you're lost. I just picked a best friend who doesn't feel the same way. I'm just someone to call if everyone else is busy.
I miss being the first one you would talk to if you were bored and we would just ride around. Your're too concerned about making new friends and impressing people. But I wish I was still a part of your group because I've never laughed harder with anyone else. Honestly though, I'd rather be alone then have to put up with this. It makes me sick to my stomach because I don't have anyone else left.

I've realized that I've grown into an extraordinarily angry person. Everything makes me cry and I find problems with everything in my life. It's a terrible thing but nothing seems to make me happy anymore.
I never get what I want, as selfish as that sounds, but I feel restricted and like I'm walking on eggshells constantly.

I was told this week that I was the 2nd biggest failure in my family, in between a bi-polar cousin who attacked her mom and one of my parent's dyslexic cousins. At first I wanted to think it wasn't true but ever since it was said to me, I've concluded that it is. And I wonder what things would be like without me.
Maybe I could just run away. No one would miss me here.

This is getting really angsty and stupid now. I've just been really struggling lately.

I want to be forgotten, and I don't wanna be reminded.

Some people are so fucking stupid and it's very aggravating. I'm probably one of those stupid, stupid people, but I don't really care because at least I know it.
I want to pack up and leave and take my girlfriend with me. She's the only thing I couldn't stand to lose. I don't care about my family; I know I could meet up with my sisters later. I don't care about my "friends" because I know they don't care about me. Wednesday proved it in more ways than one. We went to Savannah last Saturday, and it was so refreshing to walk around like we were alone and...free. That sounds really gay but that's how it felt. I'm sick of school and my parents and my old friends. I just want to get the fuck out of here already, because they're the only things keeping me from being HAPPY. I'm not ever HAPPY anymore.
My mom and I got into a kinda-huge fight today. It wasn't huge as in it was epic, but it was big and meaningful. She was just hissing "WHY DO YOU NEED TO SEE HER TODAY, THIS IS WHY YOU DIDN'T WANT TO PLAY SOCCER AND WHY YOU QUIT THE PLAY. IT'S HER. YOU'RE OBSESSED". Over and over again. But seriously, maybe I am. And who fucking cares? Maybe what my mom says is right. It might seem like I don't care about anything anymore except for a few things and one person, but that's only because I've grasped on to them so tight because nothing makes me happy anymore. I find problems with everything in my life but once I'm here and left with nothing, I wish I didn't. I wish things were the way they used to be, with all my old friends and things to do.
I don't think anyone can stand each other anymore, including me.

I just want everything to change. I want everything to go back to good, or move forward to good. I don't care.

Wow, I'm really lame.