Anything to make you smile, it is my better side of you to admire.

It's been a merry, merry Christmas. Just a great December in general. Lots of memories and things to take note of, but never regret or want back. I've seriously learned so much. Even in 2009 in general. It's been a crazy year.
I can't even begin to recollect where I was this time last year. I remember my favorite gift was these blue boots that I was obsessed with, and I couldn't wait for Kara to come home from California to show them to her. I liked how I was then, but I like this better. I like the decisions I make and I like the way I think about things. I don't know. I just know that I'll never forget 2009.

ANYWAY things have been great. I'm on a path, a good one. I'm feeling comfortable, clear, and honest. I'm happy. And I love every horrible, painful, intolerable thing we've gone through because it was all worth it. The way we are when we're together and even the way we are when we're alone, it's nice. I love it just the way it is.
I'm ready for 2010, when more days will be like yesterday and more feelings will be like the one I've had for a week. I'm in love :) again!

This is for Kara, because we missed it when we were getting popcorn.

If you're such a poet, use your tongue and show it.

I kinda wish I could plunge myself into this lifestyle you've made for yourself. But without everyone laughing at me behind my back. Always forgetting what I did the day before and never really having a plan or a promising future, and that's not a stab at you. Just go crazy, have a night where my thoughts dont control what I do. Make new friends.

I got back from Charleston a day ago. I want to go back, more than anything. I think I was made for a city, where you walk around everywhere. Its in my stride; I was walking just as fast as all the business people on their cellphones, and darting across the street with no problem at all. The new coat I got will never get worn here, it's too fashionable and expensive. It's disappointing. I want out of this shit-hole.
I mean, this trip seriously changed me. I cleaned my room and hung up all my clothes for the first time in...years. I've rearranged my room to look completely different. This fantasy world that I can live in; this little bubble in the middle of my real life. I want to live by myself in Charleston or New York. And study and cook and socialize and shop. I feel like no one really gets that.
Ah, my plans for the 28th. They've all hopelessly fallen through, which makes me so upset. I want to 1) to have a little bit more of Charleston time and 2) to see that show. All of my concert experiences have been let-downs. Warped, Siversun Pickups...Just saying. But Band of Horses is amazing. I'd love to see them live. I hope something works out.

I don't like the way this is going already. Maybe its too soon to tell. Or maybe it's in too deep. I'm terrified.



Goodnight, all.

Motion City Soundtrack, This Providence, Set Your Goals, and The Swellers February 6th :D

woo.

This is all I have! Its my life.

Yesterday I made series of decisions that have greatly affected my life, and frankly, I'm proud of them. I made them myself without anyone else's help. I hope things have taken a turn for the better.

Yeah, well, you weren't exactly Prince(ss?) Charming either.