Thursday, December 30, 2010

Its strange to think that a week ago today, right about now, I was landing in the Corning, New York airport to visit my family. Christmas was just two days away and we were all very excited. The day before, I had said goodbye to my apartment and my dog as we brought her to the kennel. I was thrilled nonetheless, and anticipating finally having a white Christmas.
Well, that all came and went and I'm back home again. My dad dropped me off about an hour ago after going out to dinner with me and unpacking my things. The apartments still a mess, but I'll deal with that tomorrow. I need to get a job, but I'll deal with that tomorrow too. My dog ate one of my small Dove chocolate candies I left out, so I'm watching her like a hawk. I couldn't be mad at her. I missed her more than anything really. She's truly (wo)man's best friend for me.
I think she's the reason I was so excited to get back to this mess of a home. I'm alone, I have so much cleaning to do...I don't have a job and I think I missed the deadline for the final application for the college I'm starting at. I'm not resentful, angry, or sinking into this deep, dark depression or anything, but I am lonely here. I guess sitting here now, I've realized that as much as I wanted to get to my apartment and be on my own and get away from my loud crazy family, I didn't think about how fucking quiet it is here at night. Even with my little buddy Hopie, I hate it and it drives me crazy. I wish I was still with my family, in their warm house with cable and anything I could want. The two times I turned down Emily when she asked if I wanted to play Super Mario Brothers, I wish I could go over now and play. Even if it was just Claire, lounging around eating honey mustard flavored pretzels and using up my Netflix subscription, it would still be better than this emptiness I've got here.
I just want tonight to be over. Everything's better when its daytime, I guess.

All and all though, I had a very good Christmas. New York was great. It was snowing and you could hardly be outside for more than an hour, but I liked seeing my family. Even my immediate one; I can't remember the last time I had so much fun with them. Hahaha, I wish I had a video of my dad sledding down the hill at Carter's School. It was hilarious.
I always comment every year on how unexcited I get for Christmas nowadays. It gets less and less every year, but lo and behold, every Christmas morning still feels like it was better than year prior. A complete 360, I know, but there's something about waking up early and opening all the crap your parents got you, then eagerly waiting for them to open what you got them. Then eating the candy you got in your stocking all day until dinner, and fiddling with your new gifts. I'll always love Christmas. I'm excited to share it with my kids too.

This year I got a laptop (which I am currently typing on), a Keureg coffee maker, lots of board games, some clothes at Marshals, a new hallway rug and living room lamp for the apartment (which got me more excited than you'd think), Vera Wang's Princess Perfume, the book Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro, beautiful earrings and a watch from my grandma, rain boots from Claire, and this awesome ring-earring set from Emily. Oh, and some great smelling soap from my mom's store. If I forgot anything, I'll let you know.

New years is tomorrow. So far I'm planning to be alone.
I wish someone would change that.

I'm gonna go take out the fart-machine.
Till next time :)

Sunday, December 5, 2010

I haven't blogged in a very long time. I've become pretty involved with Tumblr, I'm ashamed to admit. I've also been working a lot and just generally living life. I'm loving it.
I lost my job well...tomorrow technically. They told me on the 2nd though. I'm going job hunting again tomorrow, probably at a Parkers or something. I can only work until the 21st because I'm going to NY for a week :) I'm really super excited. I haven't been on a vacation in 2 years.
Since I last wrote, a lot has happened. The most dear to my heart is my dog Hope I've adopted. She's the cutest thing. This is a picture of Kara and her this morning:
I am so happy and...blessed (as cheesy as that sounds) to wake up to those two cuties in the morning. It makes me really happy with myself. Sometimes I feel really useless and lazy; I'm not in college and now I don't have a job, but when I really think about it, I'm proud of myself too.
Its a weird feeling to explain and I'm not going to try to.

I'm going to make some Ramen.
peeeeace.