My ears are blown to bits from all the rifle hits, but I still crave that sound.

It's incredible what a good night's sleep will do for you. Or maybe other factors play in, but still.
This is what I was going to post here last night:

I'm sick. I'm sick and tired. I'm shaking. I'm sick of a whole lot of things. I'm sick of working every day of the weekend. I'm sick of stealing everything and risking going to jail for it, but still managing to be broke. I'm sick of making more new enemies than friends these days. I'm sick of being angry at people rather than happy, and I'm sick of finding the bad in people rather than good. I'm sick of Home Bound and walking alone in the hallways. I'm sick of people letting mental illnesses as an excuse, an letting it define them. "Sorry, I'm ADHD! I can't help it!". Yes you can, just stop yelling. I'm sick of always being in a daze and not realizing what I'm doing until I want to be doing something else. I'm sick of YOU and your lying. I'm sick of his lies being believed by the one person I want validation from the most. I miss sleeping alone. I miss my dog and my sisters. I miss Cape Cod chips and being shopped for. I'm sick of feeling like this. I'm feeling like sticking someone in the face.

Well, that seems like forever ago now. I feel better. Just 12 short hours and I feel much better. I've got the new Vampire Weekend pumping through my earphones that need replacing, and I'm really hungry. Other then that I'm great. I'm excited for this afternoon and all the calm and happiness that comes from it. You were right when you said that everything's okay, and that was the first time I've felt like that in a long time. I've been perfectly happy otherwise. You were right when you said that if things were different, I'd be feeling like that almost every day. That's true. That's what makes it hurt even worse. Its a little crack in my perfect snow globe of a world now.
I like where I am. And honestly, fuck what you've heard. You were lied to. I know the "lots of things being said" and all about them, and they're 95% untrue. There's no cult or kidnapping or rash decisions. There's no neglect or crossfire or lack of communication. I know who thinks so but there's not much I can do about that. It's going to be like that forever, and I've just learned to know better. And I like it. I like the way I'm learning. I seem to be making some good decisions that are creating the progress I think is best for me. I think I learn better this way. I don't care what you think, I'll deal with it myself.

Oh, by the way I want to kill you.
Not really, but you better watch your back.

I can't seem to keep myself occupied in this class. I always finish things too early and just spend the rest of the time doing nothing. I want to go home. I want to stay home. This is such a waste of time.

I had a really great weekend, apart from 2 pretty major things. I miss Kara. Grounding is a terrible, cruel punishment to give to kids. I think it's ridiculous.
I just want my Kara back :(
Hate to say it though, what was done to receive the punishment was a blast. That was a really good night. I wish I had made better decisions though. Maybe just one in particular. Oh well.

I don't know how I've been feeling lately. I go through a lot of changes. Sometimes I'm good and sometimes I'm bad, and sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes that's a bad thing. I'm happy though. I really am.

I guess class is over. This is kinda pointless.

I hate you.