So don't go worrying about me. It's not like I think about this constantly.

I can't sleep, and my head's fucking pounding. I haven't had a headache like this in so long, ugh. So I figured I'd just write.
Today was pretty good. Me and Kara just hung out around Coligny. It was only us two, and I always like that. She's just a good person to be with and I'm always so happy. I don't know what I'd do without her because lately, everything has been so sucky. You'd know that if you've read my other blogs.
Things have changed so much. I know life is about change, but I don't think I'm ready for everything thats been happening around me recently. Around this time last year, I was so different. I was going into my second year of high school and I was just happy to be alive. I had a close group of friends, and we were always doing something together. I got drunk for the very first time that summer, and I remember what a big deal it was. I was dating a guy named Evan, and my best friend was so crazy about her cute, innocent little boyfriend. I don't know when things started getting so bad. I wish I did though and I could fix it. I can't stand all of this. It doesn't seem like I'm living my life right now. I know that doesn't make sense, but it feels like I'm just waiting here for things to change. Like I'm in a movie and things will get better because...it has to. Everything is going be okay again and work itself out. But it's not, and this is my life.
My mind has been racing since Bridget left my house a couple of days ago, and I can't find anything to keep myself from thinking about all this shit. Thats why I'm glad I got to see my girlfriend today because thats when I was truly, 100% happy. My mind was off of all that stuff and I didn't have to think about anything. I was just thinking about her and how lucky I was to be there. As much as I would like to be able to be with her every second of every day so that could happen, I know it's impossible.
I want all of this to be over and everyone to go back to their careless, happy, fun lives. The way it used to be.
Thats not going to happen though, because nothing is ever going to be the same. Ever.
Knowing that makes me so incredibly sad, and I want to cry.

I'm going to try and sleep now. I need to wake up in 5 hours so I can maybe see Kara again.
Whatever. Goodnight.